8 And had existed for maybe a million years,
9 aAnd had actually written down some stuff about what had happened in the last few thousand years,
10 bThus proving that it was there,
11 And incredibly important,
12 Which is probably not the case,
13 And explains why they needed some help,
14 Which they pretty much got,
15 Starting with a unit of presumptively intelligent life called John,
16 Which looked at the cvoid for quite a while,
17 dAnd figured out that there's not enough information available about any of it,
18 eWhich means you can't really believe in anything,
19 Not even the fI Ching,
20 Or Jehovah,
21 Or Buddha,
22 Or any of the other stuff that's supposed to be believable.
CHAPTER 31 The gplanet we're talking about here is Earth,
2 In case you need any help on this point,
3 And the something that regarded itself as intelligent life was the species of hman,
4 Specifically, a subset of the species called iAmericans,
5 Which invited John to express his views,
6 Because he had some,
7 And was always willing to talk about them,
8 Whenever there were some unwashed masses on hand.
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9 For example, he was pretty fond of shouting,
10 j"I am the voice of an ape calling in the wilderness,
11 k"As one ape to another ape,
12 "And if you like, you can call me lJohn the Beadle,
13 "Because I am something of a messenger,
14 "Notifying you that there is someone who will come after me,
15 m"Someone so important that even though I am only his messenger,
16 "I am,
17 "All by myself,
18 "More important that nJesus Christ."
CHAPTER 41 And the masses cried out to John, saying,
2 "Far out!
3 "That's some pretty heavy excrement you're laying on us here,
4 "And why don't you,
5 "You know,
6 "Lay some wisdom on us,
7 "So we can, like, figure out what's going down here?"
8 Thereupon John commenced to otwist and shout like an ancient pholy man,
9 qOr a modern rock star,
10 And his words were a wonder to all those assembled, being all about vitreous rvegetables,
11 And tusked smammals,
12 And human females defying the laws of tphysics with chunks of compressed carbon,
13 uAnd mobile aquatic domiciles of xanthic hue,
14 And a bunch of other stuff too,
15 Until the masses were starting to look at their watch a lot,
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