|24 Who would reign throughout their own lifetimes,
25 Until they dieda,
26 bWhen they would be immediately succeeded by another heathen emperor whom they had personally selected for the job,
27 And so forth.
28 Naturally, an important new concept like the divine right of kings spread rapidly,
29 Until there were quite a lot of kingdoms ruled by divine right,
30 Including the cHoly Roman Empire,
31 Which was in dFrance,
32 And much much better than the old unholy Roman Empire,
33 eFor some reason.
CHAPTER 31 After the Christians had fixed the government problem, they took care of a whole bunch of social problems in the most Christian kind of way.
2 For example, they knew that the old heathen Roman fPatrician thing was all wrong,
3 gBecause all apes are basically evil,
4 And therefore no one should get any special privileges,
5 Unless they're a hking,
6 Or a ipriest,
7 Or somebody really special like that.
8 And so they developed a completely new social system,
9 jWhere there were no Patricians to foul things up.
10 Instead, they recognized that every ape had a ksoul,
11 lWhich belonged to God,
12 mWho took care of everything related to the soul through the church,
||13 nWhich had priests to explain anything God wanted that might seem confusing to a stupid, evil ape.
14 But they also recognized that every ape had a body too and a lot of owork to do,
15 pParticularly if they were going to get all the way through life without having any fun to speak of,
16 qAnd so they decided that every part of the ape that wasn't the soul belonged to the king,
17 rWhich was okay,
18 sBecause the king owned everything else in the kingdom by divine right anyway,
19 Including all the land,
20 And all the money,
21 And all the buildings,
22 tExcept for all the land and money and buildings that belonged to the church.
23 uBut the king couldn't look after every ape in the kingdom all by himself,
24 And so he got help from other apes called vnobles,
25 Who got land and castles and so forth in return for looking after some of the king's apes,
26 Who were called wserfs.
CHAPTER 41 xThe serfs were very lucky because they didn't have any land or money or buildings at all,
2 yAnd never had fun of any kind whatsoever,
3 zWhich made it practically a cinch that they would go to heaven and enjoy eternal paradise,
4 Which is why it was so Christian of the king and the church and the nobles to try to get into heaven the hard way,