9 Which is pretty awful,
10 aBut nothing compared to what can happen if a real citizen of the Most Chosen Nation on Earth is living in the same house with a TV family,
11 Which TV's utter fearlessness will eventually lead it to explore,
12 In a great TV comedy called 'I Love Nobody.'
CHAPTER 671 In fact, 'I Love Nobody' will be a landmark achievement in the history of TV,
2 And maybe the culmination of everything you've started with your own little failed attempt at comedy,
3 Because the loud and obnoxious character called bAugie Bumper will keep the entire nation in stitches for years,
4 With all his charming real-life qualities,
5 cLike all his racial slurs about blacks and Hispanics,
6 dAnd his demeaning remarks about women,
7 eAnd his ethnic slurs about Poles and Italians,
8 fAnd his selfish response to every crisis,
9 gAnd his cute little beer belly,
10 And his hilarious habit of abusing every member of his family, including his hippie son-in-law and his daughter Gloria, not to mention his crazy wife Edna,
11 hWho Augie won't even kiss at the end of each show,
12 Which means that 'I Love Nobody' will finally bring the comedy of real life to the small screen,
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13 With no Miracles of any kind,
14 Not even the oldest TV Miracle of all,
15 Namely, a house where nobody ever flushes the toilet.
CHAPTER 681 And so (said Charlie), I think you can be pretty proud of the great comic tradition you've started,
2 And you should stop feeling bad about your little show that didn't work,
3 iBecause nobody hits a home run every time out,
4 And you've got another grand slammer we haven't even talked about yet,
5 jBecause your little variety show is also much more important than you think, and it will bring millions and millions of people together every Sunday night,
6 For many many years,
7 And you will give all of them much joy,
8 And many exciting new stars,
9 Including comedians,
10 And acrobats,
11 And performing animals,
12 Not to mention jugglers,
13 And magicians,
14 And ventriloquists,
15 And singers,
16 And other kinds of musicians too,
17 Which will lead to some exciting new developments in TV.
CHAPTER 691 For example, the astounding success of your show will eventually give some other TV pioneers an idea for a new kind of variety program,
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