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3 Played by aJan Francisco,
4 Who will always care about all his students,
5 And always figure out all their problems,
6 bIn just twenty-two minutes a night,
7 Unless the network gives him forty-four minutes instead,
8 Which they will probably do,
9 Because Mr. Nojack will be so popular,
10 Although his great popularity will maybe be responsible for this show not lasting as long as some other shows,
11 cBecause teachers don't make a lot of money,
12 dWhich is why the day will come when Mr. Nojack has to move on to some other line of work,
13 eLike maybe something to do with the law,
14 Although maybe not too,
15 fBecause the law will be pretty well stocked with infallible people,
16 On TV, anyway,
17 As we shall see.

1 Indeed, one of the greatest of all comedy shows will be called 'I Love Perry Mastodon,'
2 And it's not hard to see why someone would love gPerry Mastodon,
3 hBecause he will absolutely always get his client off,
4 And not just with some namby-pamby "not guilty" verdict,
5 But with a confession, under oath, by the real murderer,
6 Who will always break down in tears when Perry rolls his wheelchair up to the witness box,
7 And starts boring in with his great questions,
8 Which is actually only playing for time,
9 Until iPall sneaks in in his loud sport coat,
10 And hands the surprising last-minute evidence to jDulla,
11 Who whispers it to Perry,
12 Which is when the real murderer starts to look crazed,
13 And makes a dash for the door,
14 Except that the bailiff drags him back,
15 And then he spills it all,
16 So that the only remaining mystery is why the victim got killed by somebody who hardly knew him at all,
17 Which always stumps kLieutenant Drag, of course,
18 Not to mention lMilton Hamburger, the D.A.,
19 But not Perry,
20 Because he's the kind of lawyer you can only find in the Most Chosen Nation,
21 If you look in the phone book,
22 Under "M," of course,
23 For "Miracles."

1 There will be another great comedy about lawyers called 'I Love the Defensers,'
2 Which will be funny because the Defensers won't always win their cases,
3 Although they mostly will,
4 Because if they didn't, the show wouldn't be so much a comedy as mtheater of the absurd,