|18 It being the place where all the barbarians decided to live.
CHAPTER 51 aThe Franks decided to live in France,
2 Which sounded like the right thing to do.
3 bThe Angles and Saxons decided to live in England,
4 Which sounded more right to the Angles than to the Saxons,
5 But that's the way it goes sometimes,
6 Life being what it is.
7 And the Visivandals and Ostrovandals,
8 And the Huns and the Goths and the Vandals,
9 And even the Ostrogoths and the Visigoths,
10 cAll thought that Germany was the right place to live,
11 Which is a lot of barbarians to put together in one place,
12 dAnd maybe explains why Germany has never quite gotten the hang of being civilized.
CHAPTER 61 And surprisingly enough, there were certain things that all of them decided to do,
2 eLike be Christian,
3 fWhich meant putting all their Gods of War, and Rape, and Looting, and Arson, and so forth into storage until gfurther notice,
4 hAnd worshiping the God of Love Thy Neighbor instead,
5 Which is easier to do when you're not running around all the time smashing thy neighbor to a bloody pulp,
||6 Unless you can find some neighbors who aren't Christians, of course,
7 Provided the Vikings didn't already find them first...i
8 And so, after thinking it all over pretty carefully, the barbarians decided to give civilization their very best effort,
9 jAnd be devout about their new religion,
10 kAnd build lots of monuments and cathedrals,
11 lAnd write plenty of stone inscriptions,
12 And even try something completely new,
13 mLike having a tremendous Dark Age that would last a thousand years.
CHAPTER 71 It takes a lot of work to have a good Dark Age,
2 nWhich is why the barbarians were lucky to have so many Christians around,
3 oBecause no one knows how to start a Dark Age better than a bunch of pious Christians.
4 And so all the Christians pitched in,
5 And helped the barbarians do the right thing,
6 pWhich stopped almost everything stone cold dead in its tracks.
7 qHosanna, Hallelujah, Hooray.