13 Which was when they stopped calling him Julius,
14 And started calling him Caesar,
15 Or even Mr. Caesar,
16 aWhich changed history.
CHAPTER 121 In fact, Caesar was pretty interested in history,
2 And spent most of his time making it,
3 And when he wasn't making it, he was bwriting it,
4 To make sure they got it right.
5 cAnd so Caesar divided Gall into three parts,
6 dAnd kept all three parts for himself,
7 eTo make sure that nobody else could get any,
8 Which made it safer for him to leave town for a while,
9 And conquer the fBrits and the gKrauts and the hSpics,
10 And the iGypsies, where he met jCleopatra in a rug,
11 And the rest of the world too,
12 Pretty much the same way kAlexander had done it,
13 Since Caesar knew a thing or two about lappropriating himself.
CHAPTER 131 And when he got back, the senators suspected that Caesar was ambitious,
2 mFor some reason.
3 They thought he wanted to be emperor,
4 Which is much worse than being dictator,
5 nFor some reason.
6 And so they stabbed him o22 times in the pIdes of March,
7 qAnd once more, just to make sure,
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8 And then they had a big rwar,
9 And sburied Caesar and all his friends, including even tAntony and Cleopatra,
10 And finally made Augustus the emperor of Rome,
11 uWhich made everything all better,
12 vFor some reason.
CHAPTER 141 wAugustus turned out to be a pretty good emperor,
2 Having discovered that if you don't start a war with your xneighbors, you might not have to fight one,
3 Which made things really easy on the Romans for a while,
4 And made them pretty happy about the Pax Romana,
5 Which means yRoman peace,
6 And proves that the Romans hadn't forgotten their invention called comedy.
CHAPTER 151 In fact, for quite a long time after Augustus, the Romans specialized in comedy,
2 Having discovered that it's pretty easy to be funny when you have an emperor,
3 Who is a zliving God with absolute power,
4 Over everybody,
5 Including the Patricians.
CHAPTER 161 For example, there was an emperor named aaTiberius,
2 bbWho invented syphilis and went insane,
3 And thought it would be pretty funny if Caligula became emperor,
4 Which was absolutely right.
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