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4 aFor example, there's baseball, which is the greatest game ever invented by anyone anywhere,
5 bWhich is why you've got to know how to throw a baseball like a man, and not like some girl,
6 And how to hit a curveball,
7 And how to get at least a piece of even the nastiest strike, because a cfoul is better than a strikeout,
8 Which always make you feel absolutely awful, like you let your teammates down or something.
9 dAnd then there's football, which is a great high school and college game,
10 eAnd a great way to learn about how to get back on your feet after you've been knocked on your can,
11 fNo matter how many times it happens,
12 gAnd boxing, which every man needs to know how to do, because sometimes you have to stand up and fight for your dignity, whether you want to or not.
13 And there are other great sports too that you can play all your life, even after you can't take the physical punishment kids can,
14 Like hgolf and tennis, which are fun to play with friends, unless you're the kind of ihothead that always has to win, no matter what,
15 In which case you should play something else,
16 jLike solitaire.
17 And there are also sports that you should know about because other people like to play them and even watch them,
18 For some reason,
19 kLike soccer, which is pretty much of a waste of time unless you're planning to hang around with Europeans,
20 lAnd cricket, which is what the British play because they don't know about baseball,
21 mAnd rugby, which is what the British play because they don't know about football,
22 nAnd basketball, which is at least American,
23 oAnd hockey, which is an excellent way to get all your teeth knocked out, like the Canadians do.
24 And then later in life, there are games that don't involve athletics, but that people like to play, and some of them it's a good idea to know how to play, and others it isn't,
25 Like bridge, for example, which pwomen like to play and men don't, and so it's better not to know how,
26 qAnd backgammon, which certain kinds of men like to play, for some reason, maybe because they don't have the brains for rpoker,
27 Which is a great game, unless you're not good at it, which you can find out easily enough, because if you're not good at it, you'll lose smoney.
28 There's also chess, which is supposed to be a great game,
29 But personally I've never understood it,
30 And don't want to either,
31 Because chess players seem to take the game too seriously,