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27 aAnd how slow and lazy negroes are,
28 bAnd how vicious and lazy crackers are,
29 cAnd how scatterbrained and illogical women are,
30 dAnd how cruel and greedy lawyers are,
31 eNot to mention knock-knock jokes,
32 fAnd jokes about how awful a place Philadelphia is to visit,
33 gWhich aren't always all that funny,
34 But are sometimes safer if you don't know for sure that there aren't any Micks or Pollocks or French or English or Jews or Scotch or negroes or women or lawyers or people like that in your audience,
35 hUnless you're fond of dirty jokes,
36 Which you'd better not be,
37 Because personally I find dirty jokes offensive.

1 K is for Knots, which come in pretty handy sometimes,
2 So it's worth your while to learn all the important knots,
3 Like the square knot,
4 The sheepshank,
5 And the granny,
6 iNot to mention my own personal favorite, the four-in-hand.

1 L is for Luck, which you can have if you remember the things that are lucky and the things that aren't.
2 jFor example, don't ever break a mirror because you'll have seven years of bad luck...…minimum,
3 And don't ever walk under a ladder because that's bad luck too,
4 kAnd if you drop some salt, throw some over your shoulder, just for luck,
5 lAnd if you say something that might give you bad luck, you'd better knock wood, just to make sure,
6 And the number thirteen is bad luck,
7 mBut the number seven is good luck, at least on the first roll,
8 nAnd horseshoes are good luck unless they're pointed the wrong way,
9 And four-leaf clovers are good luck if you can ever find one,
10 Although if a black cat walks across your path, it's bad luck,
11 And three to a match is very bad luck,
12 And if you step on a crack in the sidewalk, you could break your mother's back,
13 Which isn't good luck at all.

1 M is for Measures, owhich you can look like an idiot if you don't know,
2 Because everybody needs to know that there are four quarts in a gallon, and two pints in a quart, and,
3 Well,
4 They need to know how many pecks there are in a bushel,
5 And how many feet in a mile,
6 And how many yards in an acre,
7 pAnd how many rods in a fortnight,
8 And how many pounds in a ton,
9 And how many ounces in a qpound,