8 And proved that the Nips were a Chosen people,
9 And also quite original.
CHAPTER 41 aIn fact, the Nips were so original that everything ever invented was invented in Japan first,
2 bIncluding the wheel,
3 cAnd art,
4 dAnd literature,
5 eAnd food made out of raw fish,
6 fAnd music,
7 gAnd tiny little paper umbrellas,
8 hAnd great big paper dragons,
9 iAnd tiny little paper houses,
10 jAnd automobiles made out of old beer cans,
11 kNot to mention philosophy and religion,
12 lAnd swords,
13 mAnd zeroes,
14 And good manners,
15 Except maybe not quite so much good manners as the other things,
16 Because when you have enough swords and zeroes, you don't have to be as polite as you used to be.
CHAPTER 51 The Nips also invented the idea of nhonor,
2 Which they called "face,"
3 Because it involved so much nodding,
4 And never having any facial expression,
5 Even when you committed suicide,
6 Which was another great Nip invention,
7 And just about the most fun that an honorable Nip could get out of life.
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8 Fortunately, there were all kinds of great reasons for committing suicide,
9 Especially for Nip nobles and warriors,
10 Who had to kill themselves if they were disloyal to the emperor,
11 Or committed some terrible crime,
12 Or committed some minor crime,
13 Or committed some minor indiscretion,
14 Or were late for dinner,
15 Or blushed,
16 Or if some social superior told them to.
CHAPTER 61 Naturally, this kind of etiquette resulted in quite a lot of dead bodies,
2 Which was okay,
3 Because Japan was a pretty small island,
4 oAnd there were always too many Nips anyway,
5 pSince the Nip women weren't allowed to have anything except lots and lots of male children,
6 qNot even orgasms,
7 rWhich the Nips made sure of by inventing surgery and gynecology at the same time,
8 sBecause it just isn't civilized for women to have orgasms,
9 tOr to walk alongside their husbands,
10 uOr talk back,
11 vOr say anything at all unless their husband asks them to,
12 wOr do anything at all unless their husband tells them to,
13 Except suicide,
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