|11 Or the Ming dynasty,
12 Or the Manchu dynasty,
13 If it matters.
CHAPTER 101 In fact, the Chinese dynasties were a lot like the Chinks,
2 Meaning they all looked pretty much alike.
3 aFor example, they all lasted about two hundred years,
4 bAnd made some very pretty vases,
5 cAnd added some more wall around the border of China,
6 dAnd had very little history to speak of,
7 Because it's not nice to show up your eancestors by doing anything new,
8 Or adventurous,
9 Or memorable.
CHAPTER 111 Every so often, though, a Chink would defy his ancestors and do something memorable anyway.
2 For example, there was a Chink named fGenghis Khan who thought it would be fun to kill a lot of people and conquer China too.
3 Killing and conquering came pretty naturally to Genghis,
4 Because he was a gMongol,
5 Meaning a Chink barbarian who hadn't really learned how to be properly civilized yet.
6 In fact, Chink dynasties kind of depended on occasional barbarian conquests,
7 Which helped prevent the Chinks from getting too overpopulated,
8 hSince they've always been good at having lots and lots of children,
||9 iWhat with all those wives and concubines with bound feet who couldn't run very far to get away from all those civilized Chink men.
10 jAnd so Genghis did his part by slaughtering a lot of Chink men, women, and children,
11 Then building his own dynasty,
12 So that his son kKublai could succeed him,
13 Which worked out great,
14 Because when a barbarian becomes a Chink emperor, he usually dies after a while,
15 But his family keeps going,
16 Getting more civilized all the time,
17 Until eventually, the whole dynastic family is so civilized that nothing violent or destructive is happening anymore,
18 Except that a lot of wives and concubines are getting caught with great regularity,
19 lAnd the population is growing like crazy,
20 mWhich means that it's time for another Chink barbarian to show up and start trimming back the population again.
21 And thanks to the fact that there's usually no permanent shortage of barbarians,
22 Even in China,
23 nThe dynastic cycle went round and round like this for a couple thousand years all told,
24 oWhich brings us to the Modern Age,
25 When the pEuropean barbarians came barging in,
26 And messed everything up plenty,
27 Because they couldn't seem to get the hang of how barbarians are supposed to act in China,