|6 Fortunately, it all tended to work out,
7 aBecause parents almost always thought it was civilized to pick their children's mates,
8 Since they didn't get to pick theirs,
9 bAnd why should some youngster be so lucky?
10 cThe Chinks also thought it wasn't civilized to have beards,
11 Which worked out pretty well because Chinks can't grow beards,
12 dUnless you count those little disgusting wisps of hair that some of the uncivilized ones have.
CHAPTER 81 eThe Chinks had a lot of ideas about how to civilize women,
2 fWhich worked better than most of the ways other peoples have tried.
3 gFor example, Chink women were always supposed to walk behind their husbands,
4 hBecause every civilized man knows that women are supposed to be obedient and polite and not talk all the time,
5 iOr at least walk far enough behind you that you can't hear them talking all the time,
6 jAnd when that didn't work, they thought up even more exotic ways of helping women to be civilized,
7 kLike binding their feet,
8 lFrom birth,
9 mSo that they couldn't walk very far,
10 nAt least not without a lot of pain,
||11 oWhich made it harder for them to talk all the time.
12 pAnd Chink women were also taught a lot of nice cultural stuff,
13 qLike painting,
14 rAnd music,
15 sAnd sexual techniques,
16 tWhich made them civilized enough to live in the royal court,
17 uWhere they could have one of two jobs,
18 vNamely, they could be a wife,
19 wOr a concubine,
20 xNot that it really mattered which,
21 yBecause both jobs had about the same duties,
22 zAnd any man could have as many of either or both as he wanted.
CHAPTER 91 What with all their civilization and the wisdom of aaConfucius and the Chin laws and some occasional killing, the Han dynasty turned out to be pretty successful,
2 Although it eventually fell apart,
3 Because of a Chink law called the dynastic cycle,
4 bbWhich says that every dynasty has to add a nice big section to the Great Wall of China,
5 Run things for about two hundred years,
6 Then fall apart so that a new dynasty can take over.
7 So, when the Han dynasty fell apart at the appointed time,
8 Another dynasty came along to take its place,
9 Which was the Chou dynasty,
10 Unless it was the Sung dynasty,