|CHAPTER 11 Somewhere below the eastern part of aRussia, there was a place called China,
2 Which became a great Chosen Nation,
3 Surrounded by a Great Wall,
4 So that all the barbarians who lived outside couldn't get in.
5 Unfortunately, the wall didn't work,
6 Because it had some chinks in it,
7 That let the barbarians in,
8 And almost ruined everything for the only civilized people on earth.
9 This is their bstory.
CHAPTER 21 cLong before there was anything else,
2 There was China,
3 Which was especially chosen by the Chink Gods to be better than everyone else,
5 The first thing they did was invent a unique form of government,
6 dCalled rule by divine right of dynasties,
7 eWhich was completely different from every other form of government on earth,
8 fSince dynasties consisted of a series of Chink emperors,
9 gWho had absolute power over everybody,
10 hAnd were probably Gods.
11 iThe first Chink dynasty was the Shang dynasty of the Yellow River Valley,
||12 Which didn't exactly write down any history,
13 jBut left some broken dishes behind,
14 kWhich is how the nation came by its name.
CHAPTER 31 Everything that was ever invented was invented in China first,
2 lIncluding the wheel,
3 mAnd art,
4 nAnd literature,
5 oAnd cookies,
6 pAnd music,
7 qAnd firecrackers,
8 And tiny little paper umbrellas,
9 And great big plaster rdragons,
10 sAnd porcelain vases,
11 tNot to mention philosophy and religion,
12 And gambling,
13 And checkers,
14 uAnd walls,
15 And science,
16 Except maybe not so much science as the other things,
17 Because when you already know everything worth knowing, why do you need science?
CHAPTER 41 The Chinks also invented ships,
2 Which they thought were junk,
3 Because the whole purpose of a ship is to go somewhere,