8 aOr something like that.
9 The Russkies thought about what Marx had said for about fifty years or so,
10 Which was pretty quickly by their standards,
11 And when things didn't go just exactly right in bWorld War I,
12 They decided to give Marxism a try.
13 What happened was that millions of peasants were starving,
14 As usual,
15 And millions more were dying in the show against the German army,
16 And a crazy cmonk named dRasputin was making the czar spend the whole gross national product on eFabergé potatoes,
17 Which took a whole year to produce a crop of one,
18 Which wasn't edible anyway,
19 And so the peasants decided they were fed up.
CHAPTER 161 The way the Russkies looked at it, fMarxism made perfect sense,
2 gBecause if capitalism was a rotten system that led to stinking industrial cities full of mistreated workers,
3 hAnd would inevitably be replaced by a Marxist system in which the mistreated industrial workers would seize control of the whole industrial structure,
4 Then why wait for the iindustrial revolution to reach Russia?
5 Why not skip ahead,
6 From a basically feudal agricultural economy to a modern industrial Marxist state,
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7 jWhere everything would be perfect?
8 And so they did.
9 They shot the czar,
10 And his family,
11 kA whole bunch of times,
12 Until they were all dead,
13 Except maybe for lPrincess Anastasia,
14 Who might have survived and become a movie star later,
15 Unless she didn't.
16 mThen they shot Rasputin,
17 nAnd poisoned him,
18 oAnd stabbed him,
19 pAnd drowned him,
20 Until he was probably dead,
21 Although you can never be completely sure about mad monks.
22 qThen they shot all the Russkie nobles,
23 rAnd their families,
24 sAnd all their friends and acquaintances,
25 tAnd then a whole bunch of peasants who thought that the next thing to do was be free and democratic,
26 Because being free and democratic might lead to dire consequences,
27 Like the end of misery,
28 Which isn't Russian,
29 And can't be tolerated.
CHAPTER 171 Eventually, a Marxist named uLenin became the new czar of Russia,
2 Except that he wasn't a czar, of course,
3 vBut completely different,
4 wSince he didn't spend the whole gross national product on xFabergé potatoes,
5 yBut on secret police instead,
6 So that the rights of the people would always be protected against the treacherous grousing of counterrevolutionary peasants,
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