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22 Or the hotel room wasn't spotlessly clean,
23 Or the bathrooms didn't have modern plumbing,
24 Or the restaurants didn't have hamburgers and hot dogs on the menu,
25 Or the natives got irritable about being ordered around by guests in their country,
26 aWho absolutely positively refused to even try to speak the native language,
27 bJust like the Brits,
28 Only not nearly so well dressed.

1 And so the years rolled by,
2 cUntil finally it became necessary to wake up Ike,
3 Because it was time for another election,
4 Which happens every four years or so,
5 Whether the Yanks are paying any attention or not.
6 This time, they were paying attention,
7 dBecause the Democrats were running an Irish Catholic for president,
8 Named eJohn F. Kennedy,
9 Who was honest and great,
10 Because he went to Harvard,
11 fJust like Franklin Roosevelt.
12 Even so, the Yanks had a hard time trying to vote for him,
13 gBecause all the Yanks knew about Irish Catholics,
14 hAnd how all they ever wanted to do was party and pick fights,
15 And hit on women all the time,
16 And make money from dirty businesses like ibootlegging and such,
17 And how dishonest and corrupt they were in politics,
18 And how they'd smile and lie right in your face,
19 Except that Kennedy wasn't that kind of Irish Catholic,
20 At all,
21 Because he was honest and great,
22 And so good-looking too,
23 jAnd not at all like the shifty-eyed crook he was running against,
24 Which explains why Kennedy won the election by more than a hundred thousand votes,
25 And proves that the Yanks aren't prejudiced after all,
26 Unless it doesn't.

1 kKennedy turned out to be a very popular president with the Yanks,
2 Who maybe thought he was like a symbol of themselves,
3 Because he was young,
4 And successful,
5 And in charge,
6 And always trying to do the right thing,
7 But not taking any guff from anybody,
8 Like with the Russkies,
9 lWho tried to put some nuclear missiles in Cuba,
10 Only Kennedy told them to back off,
11 Because he had his finger on the button,
12 And would push it if they pushed him,
13 Which explains why there was a period lasting about two weeks when the whole world held its breath,