Previous Table of Contents Next
CHAPTER 116
1 Although delays like these were slowing down the war,
2 It was still starting to become obvious that the Allies were going to win the war eventually,
3 And so the Allies all got together at Yalta to decide how Europe would be divided up after the war,
4 aWhich is to say the countries conquered by the Brits and the Yanks would be free,
5 bAnd the countries conquered by the Russkies would be enslaved in a vast totalitarian state,
6 cWhich all seemed very fair to those in attendance,
7 Since nobody had invited any Czechs or Poles or Albanians or Romanians to the meeting,
8 And since dRoosevelt had just been elected to his fourth term as president of the Yanks,
9 eWhich was a record,
10 And who cares about a bunch of Poles and Czechs when you've got a record like that,
11 Because there aren't too many presidents who are so honest and great that they can be reelected even though they're almost dead in their wheelchair,
12 And practically senile to boot,
13 Or why would he ever have agreed to give half the world to a murderous tyrant like fStalin,
14 gAnd then died almost immediately,
15 Without telling his hvice president anything about what to do next,
16 Unless that's not really how it was at all,
17 Which it couldn't be,
18 Because Roosevelt was far too honest and great to do anything wrong,
a.Yks.102.23
b.Russ.20.2-7
c.Russ.20.8-10
d.Dav.15.9
Vin.6.15
e.Yks.103.12
f.Dav.30.40
g.Dav.15.40-46
h.Yks.117.5
i.Yks.96.11
j.Dav.34.17
k.Krt.34.14-15
l.Dav.23.41-43
m.Dav.23.10
n.Krt.34.17
o.Yks.110.13
p.Yks.110.15-16
q.Dav.34.19
19 As every Yank knows,
20 iSomehow.

CHAPTER 117
1 But the Yanks have always been lucky,
2 As any European will tell you,
3 And they kept on winning the war even though Roosevelt was dead,
4 And the new president,
5 Who must have been Truman,
6 Continued the same policies that had worked so far,
7 Until the jKrauts had been thoroughly whipped,
8 kIncluding the Battle of the Bulge,
9 lWhere a Yank stopped the Kraut counteroffensive by saying "Nuts,"
10 Or words to that effect,
11 Which stunned the Krauts long enough for mPatton to arrive like the U.S. Cavalry,
12 Which he kind of was at that,
13 And saved the day,
14 nUntil the Krauts finally gave in,
15 And offered up the kind of peace terms the Yanks wanted,
16 oMeaning Surrender,
17 pOf the Unconditional kind.

CHAPTER 118
1 Meanwhile, the Yanks had taken about everything in the South Pacific away from the qNips,
2 Except Japan,
3 Which they were about to do,
4 Even if the cost of getting even was going to come in very high this time,
5 Which is to say exorbitantly high,