35 Which was not nice,
36 At all,
37 And will never be forgotten by the south,
38 Ever,
39 Which still yearns for revenge,
40 Because that's the American way,
41 Especially if you're still nostalgic for the days when every white man was truly free,
42 aAnd every negro knew his place.
CHAPTER 441 What the north did to the south after Grant became the union commander was destroy it,
2 Pretty thoroughly.
3 What happened was, Grant thought about Lincoln's plan to end the Civil War,
4 bFor four or five cases of whiskey,
5 cAnd came up with the idea that if you could win by destroying enough of the enemy's troops,
6 You might win even faster if you destroyed everything the enemy had,
7 Until they had nothing left to fight you with,
8 At all,
9 Including not even a single bullet to shoot,
10 Or a single rifle to shoot with,
11 Or even a single potato to eat.
12 Grant didn't name this new kind of war after himself,
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13 For some reason,
14 Which is why it came to be called other names instead,
15 Including total war,
16 dAnd modern war,
17 And other names too,
18 Especially in the south, where they got to know this kind of war pretty well.
19 After he got his bright idea,
20 Grant needed someone to execute it for him,
21 Since he was too busy drinking,
22 eThat is, thinking,
23 To actually go do it himself.
24 So he picked a general named fSherman,
25 gWho thought that war was hell,
26 hAnd was just dying for a chance to prove it.
27 He got his chance when Grant told him to march to the sea,
28 iAll the way from somewhere or other,
29 To the coast of Georgia,
30 Without leaving anything standing anywhere in between.
31 General Sherman did this so well that all the jsouthern women had to make dresses out of curtains,
32 And eat nothing but old roots from the garden,
33 Because those were the only things the union troops didn't burn down,
34 Or knock down,
35 Or tear up,
36 Or track their feet on,
37 Between somewhere and the sea.
38 They also burned down kAtlanta,
39 And some other cities too,
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