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CHAPTER 11
1 For example, there was the time Joshua knocked down the walls of Jericho,
2 Using only the the brass section.
3 And there was aSamson,
4 Who had long hair, which was bokay,
5 And was very strong, which was also cokay,
6 And loved dDelilah, which was not okay,
7 Because she cut off his hair,
8 And had him blinded,
9 Only eSamson won out in the end, thanks to His love,
10 fKnocking down the temple on His enemies, the Philistines,
11 And himself,
12 Until all of them were flat as a pancake,
13 Which was apparently okay, the way the priests explained it,
14 Because God gloved Samson,
15 Especially when he was flat as a pancake.
16 Nor was this all they believed.

CHAPTER 12
1 They believed that God spoke through prophets,
2 hSuch as Amos, Isaiah, Jeremiah, and so forth,
3 Who warned about iGod's anger,
4 Just in case anybody forgot about it for some reason,
5 jAnd they described the terrible things that would happen if He weren't kept happy,
a.Dav.14.6
b.Lies.10.6
c.Lies.10.6
d.Dav.5.7
e.Psay.5B.8
f.Wil.8.3
g.Brit.40.8
h.Dav.29.6
i.Lies.2.21
j.Lies.2.22
k.Rom.22.11-12
l.Brd.12.6
m.Mall.13.27
n.Rom.10.4
Rom.7.7
o.Grk.13.1
p.Psay.2.2
6 Which were pretty terrible, as you might expect,
7 kBut this was okay, the way the priests explained it,
8 Because there would be a messiah,
9 Who would lsave everyone in the Chosen Tribe who really loved God,
10 mSomeday.

CHAPTER 13
1 And the Chosen Tribe believed these and other things for many generations,
2 nAnd then God destroyed the land of milk and honey, completely and utterly,
3 And scattered His Chosen Tribe to the four ocorners of the earth,
4 To live as best they could without a country,
5 Or anything else,
6 pWhich must have been okay,
7 Because God truly loved His Chosen People,
8 Even if he had a darned peculiar way of showing it.

CHAPTER 14
1 Fortunately by now, there were other great tribes of Chosen Apes, who had beliefs of their own,
2 Of much the same kind,
3 Who went on to do great things of their own,
4 Which is how history works,
5 Things being what they are.