|CHAPTER 271 Meanwhile, the Yanks kept adding more new states, which was going so smoothly and quickly that the Yanks decided it meant something.
2 What it meant,
3 aThe way the Yanks looked at it,
4 Was that the United States was kind of bsupposed to own all of North America,
5 cFrom sea to shining sea,
6 No matter who got in the way.
7 And so the Yanks wound up rediscovering the ancient Roman idea of dappropriating,
8 eWhich is another way of saying that if a bunch of Yanks have moved in someplace and put up some buildings and signs, then obviously the Yanks must own it,
9 Regardless of what any piece of paper says,
10 fEven if it's a treaty signed by the U.S. government.
11 This important new principle was called gManifest Destiny,
12 Which can be roughly translated as "Get the hell out of our way!"
CHAPTER 281 Thanks to Manifest Destiny, the Yanks managed to appropriate hCalifornia from the Spanish,
2 Which was really a shame for the Spics,
3 iWho had spent the last several hundred years ransacking large chunks of two continents in search of gold,
4 Only to get kicked out of the place where all the gold was,
||5 Namely, California,
6 Before they figured out that it was there.
7 jAnd so the Yanks got all the gold,
8 kWhich is the way things go when you have Manifest Destiny on your side,
9 lAnd enough poor white trash to sift every ounce of dirt in the state.
10 In fact, the Yanks had enough poor white trash to sift almost all of the dirt in the west,
11 Which is why they also found silver in Colorado and mNevada,
12 And a bunch of other stuff in other places,
13 Until suddenly everybody thought that dirt was just the greatest thing ever,
14 And went out west to get some of their own.
15 Fortunately for the Yanks, there was absolutely no shortage of dirt out west.
16 In fact, there was so much of it that even the streets were paved with dirt,
17 Which turned out to be a good thing,
18 Because neveryone who went west was wearing a osix-gun,
19 And when they got killed,
20 pWhich a lot of them did,
21 It was easy to dig a hole in the dirt wherever they were,
22 And put them in it,
23 With their boots on,
24 So their socks wouldn't get dirty,
25 Or something like that.
26 Anyway, this period of Yank history was terribly exciting and romantic,
27 qNot to mention extremely profitable for all the capitalists who were making guns and bullets and shovels back east,