|14 Although it did kill aLot's wife,
15 Who didn't try to date any Angels either,
16 bBut she was a woman,
17 And God thought he'd like her better if she was something else instead,
18 Maybe something quieter,
19 And so he turned her into a cpillar of salt,
20 Which stopped her from talking,
22 Nor was this all they believed.
CHAPTER 71 For example, they believed the one about the eTower of Babble,
2 Which somebody or other decided to build on top of fMount Ararat,
3 And keep going till they got all the way up to heaven,
4 Because they wanted to meet God in person,
5 gFor some reason,
6 Except that hGod didn't want visitors,
7 But instead of just destroying the tower with a lot of fire and brimstone,
8 Like he usually did,
9 This time, he made all the construction workers talk in different languages,
11 iSo they couldn't build the tower any higher,
12 Which solved jGod's problem,
13 But created a new one for the Chosen Tribe,
14 Because when the construction workers quit work on the tower,
||15 kThey scattered to the four winds,
16 lAnd set up a whole bunch of new tribes who all spoke foreign languages,
17 So that they could come back and persecute the Chosen Tribe later,
18 mJust like it said in the Covenant.
19 Nor was this all they believed.
CHAPTER 81 They believed that an ape named nJonah was eaten by a whale,
2 oBut got thrown up later,
3 pIn good health.
4 And they believed that an ape named qJob, who had more troubles than you could shake a pointed stick at, including boils, still rloved God anyway.
5 And then there was sJoseph, who had a coat of many colors, as well as many strange dreams,
6 Which convinced him to go to tEgypt for some reason,
7 uAnd it didn't work out right,
8 Which meant that there had to be vMoses,
9 Who was wborn in a basket and floated down the Nile,
10 xTill he helped Joseph's descendants escape from Egypt,
11 With a lot of ymiracles, including zfrogs, aalocusts, and parting the bbDead Sea and so forth,
12 Delivering them after forty years into the ccland of milk and honey,
13 ddWhich Moses wasn't allowed into,
14 eeBecause he didn't always ask "How high?" every time God told him to jump,